$WHACKD

Imagine for a moment that you’re a worker employed at a very profitable company. Your management informs you that your CEO announced a company wide pizza party over the weekend to celebrate shattering the company’s record high quarter 1 earnings report. You and 499 of your fellow workers are asked to report to the company’s kitchen Saturday morning to set up the party and make the pizza from scratch. All 1000 employees will be at the party, and you are instructed to make 1000 slices total. After a long day of setting up, the party starts. The CEO gives a speech thanking everyone for their hard work, and lets everyone know that he will be the one serving the pizza to employees.

First, he counts out 128.4 slices exactly and piles them on a stack of plates at his own private table. Next, he asks the 9 shareholders to line up. They each take 21.24 slices. Then he invites the company’s 90 managers to the serving table, and gives them 4.14 slices each. The 400 employees that helped plan the party from the office were up next. They were only allowed to take 0.7 of one slice each. Finally, you and the other 499 workers who made the pizza are given the green light. You each receive 0.056 of a slice- not even enough of a portion to fit a single pepperoni on top.

Substitute “wealth” for “pizza” in this story, and you are left with the brutal reality of the America’s dying capitalist economy. Numbers are all taken from the federal reserve’s Q1 2022 wealth distribution report.

1 CEO (top 0.1% wealthiest Americans):

12.841% of pie 128.41 slices

9 board members (99-99.9%):

19.023% of pie 190.23 slices 21.14 slices per board member

90 Managers (90-99%):

37.257% of pie 372.57 slices 4.14 slices per executive

400 professionals (50-90%):

28.077% 280.77 slices 0.70 slices per professional

500 Workers (0-50%):

2.802% 28.02 slices 0.056 slices per worker